So...
I'm in this strange place right now where my gut is telling me that things aren't working out in my private life for loads of reasons... The major contributing factor to all of this is that we just like to live very different social lives. No one is good or bad. In fact, he's a very good soul and man. We just don't understand each other when it comes to spending time together. I'd like to go to a movie...dinner...a walk...a hike...a drive...a picnic...a trip to town to just check it out on Sunday...happy hour drinks...dancing once in a while...hell just running errands together.
Dating in Kenya is an extraordinary effort that I've yet to really even start to understand. My "American" instincts are constantly pushing back at situations that don't seem to make a whole lot of sense and advice from Kenyan friends to not react "too harshly" or "too American" pushes in the other direction. Life in the middle...again. It's a difficult thing to navigate--when do you listen to your instincts despite their heavy Americaness and when do you adopt the more "Kenyan approach"? I don't know. I know that it's not much fun to have this battle waging...it's not fun when you don't know if you can trust yourself... I wish things were clearer right now. I wish that they made more sense. I wish I had more confidence in myself, despite living in Africa, to stand for what I want and what I think I deserve culture be damned. Ugh.
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